Day 24

My days are going better.  I’m still craving bread and cheese but it’s not so overwhelming anymore and I have to confess, I do cheat every now and then.  Like when I’m cutting a slice of cheddar for my wild man for a snack, I have to make a thin slice for me!  Just a taste is all I’m looking for!  I know it’s not in the spirit of this fast but …well, there you have it.  It’s simply lack of discipline!  Yet, I’ve been convicted again that what I’m trying to do is the right path for me despite my many failures.  This past Sunday our pastor spoke on the Biblical suggestion of fasting and what it entailed.  I liked the message so much I stayed for second service and heard it again.  It was powerful to hear the warnings that go along with a decision like this.  I must keep in mind when I post my thoughts that it’s not about me or my glory or my desires that are important.  I don’t want to be the Pharisee who prayed in a “look at me, aren’t I better than you” fashion.  What I hope to accomplish is to raise awareness of where our food comes from, how it is harvested, do the import companies have fair trade policies, do the subsidiary companies adhere to those policies, to get back to nature and really praise God for all He has provided for us!  Not least the gift of His Son!  I want this process to change my mind and my heart.  For me it’s not platitudes. To listen or view this message please visit the link here and scroll to Olympic Ethos, week three, Over the Hurdles!  It’s worthwhile if you are considering fasting.

I know I feel more convicted when I write about it, too.  It’s like I’ve committed it to the internet ether and now I’m to be held accountable for it. I can’t get around it because my words are right there. In our Women’s Journey study of the book of James, the brother of Jesus puts it this way, “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.” (Jas 3:1) It’s a humbling and horrifying thought!  I must hold myself more accountable than ever as my words may affect someone else’s path to Christ.  I don’t think of myself as a teacher, however, with the advent of the internet, facebook and blogging, I must conclude it’s a teaching method.  Believe me when I say, I do NOT want to be cast aside as one of the goats on judgement day!

Consider what I say an honest effort to convey my personal experiences from life, through reading the Scriptures, through the various studies I’ve been privileged to attend, and from my own epiphanies when it seems like I can say, “Oooohhhh…NOW I get it!”  Cause that just doesn’t happen very often!

Father, I pray you put such conviction on my heart that I have no way of avoiding what it is you are leading me to.  You know I’m a creature of habit and procrastination. Break that cycle and let me feel what is breaking your heart.  Bring someone forward who can make a difference! Shatter our glass ceilings and allow the shards to scrape and sting as they fall on us – make us aware of our human condition.  Teach us to be accountable for it and for our broken planet.  Lead me, Lord. Amen

Consider this last thought for today:

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” James 4:1-3

Always consider what is in your heart before you ask God for what you want – only He can discern if your request comes with the right motive. This is one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever had to learn in life. My “bitter envy and selfish ambition” (Jas 3:14) have caused agonizing loss I would wish on no one. Search your heart, sisters!

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